How do we measure success? I have been thinking about this a lot; it is something that comes up often during coaching sessions. If I earn X amount of money, I will be a success, if I get that promotion, if my novel gets published, if I run a marathon, if I pass my exams, if I get that role, if I make the team… the list could go on. And yes, these ambitions are important, and yes, I believe we should set ourselves goals and pursue our dreams. However, once those are achieved, when do we then start looking for the next measure of success? And then the next? I asked a client this morning, “When would it be enough?” Now, that is hard to answer.

I champion the ambition to go where we want to go and be who we want to be. I celebrate every achievement with my clients, and with my friends and family. But there isn’t a fixed finish line. What I witness, in myself as well as others, is a relentless pressing forward, onto the next thing. Because we should, or because we thought we would feel complete, and we don’t, or because there is always another mountain to climb, another task to tick off. When will we feel that we have succeeded? I meet wonderful people; people who take care of others, who do their jobs well, who create beautiful things, who face their fears, who keep on going despite the setbacks and the rejections. People who show up in their lives, day after day, but would never say that they are successful. I want to shout it out. I want to call out to every single one of them, “today you tried your best. Today you showed someone kindness. Today you did something you found difficult. Today you put your face in the sun or felt the rain and the wind on your skin. Today you showed up.

I don’t know what your definition of success is, but I am beginning to question mine. Getting the pay rise, the job, the public recognition may well be important, but so are all the small steps, the efforts, the gestures, and the choices we make throughout our days. I am going to start measuring success in the beats between the big results, in the beats when the big results don’t materialise, in all the beats that gently underscore our lives. I am going to keep showing up and trying my best and all those quiet, often unwitnessed beats will be my measures of success.